the great SAHM vs. working mom debate

Nah, not really. I would rather talk about choices. When you have a child(or two or three), you know there are certain things you give up, well atleast for a few years. For most people, gone are those lazy weekends sleeping in, going out to dinner whenever you want without worrying about bedtime, the money spent on new clothes as opposed to diapers. I think what people nee dto also realize if that they have to give up having a choice sometimes and I think this is were the great SAHM vs. Working mom debate losses sight.
I am a SAHM because I simply cant afford daycare. Being in the non profit arena comes with a mixed bag. Helping your fellow man, building communities, helping to enrich the lives of others but it also means that monetary gains are well, how should I say this, not the greatest concern. We looked at daycares, I weighed the options and with two infants in daycare, it just didnt make sense financially. I am still mourning the fact that I had no choices in the matter. I would imagine the mom who works outside the home faced with a similar dilemmma would feel the same way. There is really no choice, that mom HAS to work. When we talked about having a baby, I never thought about this situation. Never imagined that being at home would be the only path that made financially sense for us.
Granted, there are plenty of multiple mamas who do work, and that is what makes the most sense for them.
I know this post is a bit rambling but its just something that I think people should stop and think about when the great debate comes up. The majority of moms are doing what is best for their families, whatever that is. Perhaps that SAHM would love to go back to work but the cost of daycare vs. her income make it impossible. Maybe that working mom would love to stay at home but she is the breadwinner. It is easy to judge when you just assume, but you know what they say about assuming :)
Before we tear each other down, we have to take a step back and realize that motherhood is not black and white, it has many shades of gray and that we should celebrate each other, not vilify each other for actions when perhaps there was no other choice in the matter.

Solo roadtrip with twins.

For the past two months, we've had a trip to my hometown planned, 7 hours away from steelerland. We were going to use the trip as an opportunity to get some professional photos done of the girls. The photos were going to be shot in the park where I played as a wee lass, my mom & sister would be there, it was going to be great. Well a few days before our planned departure date, husband told me that he wouldnt be able to go because of a deadline for the new company. I wrestled with this, going back & forth between going and not going. I decided that I would go solo, just me and my little ladies.
The trip was great, we just got back yesterday. It was HOT for the photo shoot, which made for some sweaty and cranky girls. I am sure that Racheal got some great shots. I am still kicking myself in the butt for not packing any skirts or dresses, I had to wear pants for the photos, UGH jeans & heat do not mix well.
The trip was wonderful and I got to see some of my best friends and of course my family.
A solo roadtrip with twins is possible. Here are some tips, or things that I did that worked well for us.

1. Be flexible & take your time. I factored in a whole day to drive there and another day to drive back. I was able to take my time and stop when the girls needed a break.

2. Pack a picnic-I packed snacks and fruit in a cooler as well as a picnic blanket. We were able to stop and we have a picnic and let the girls play and stretch their legs.

3. Take the scenic route- I had two options. 1 was a turnpike with large rest stops with lots of amenities but the exits are further apart. The other option meant small rest areas without restaurants but more exits. I chose the 2nd option. The small rest areas meant green space that could be used for picnics or to take the girls for a walk in the stroller. Some stops were downright pretty, with scenic overlooks and lots of pretty flowers and trees.

4. Bring toys & books- At one stop, I pulled out some blocks that I had packed for the girls. They were able to play in the back of the van while I got lunch ready. I also had books and small toys, like a play phone, that the girls could play with while in their seats.

5. Timing is everything- I left at 5am on my way there and 7am on my way home. The girls usually sleep to 7-8am so leaving at 5am I was hoping that I would get a few hours with some sleeping babies. It worked this time. I was able to drive 3 hours before they woke up and needed to eat. On the way home, they didnt sleep as much but I fed them before we left so they were in a good mood. Think about your child and their sleeping pattern. Perhaps leaving at night would be the best option for you. That is what we did when they were 4 months old and went on a roadtrip. We left at bedtime and the girls just slept except for a nursing session.
I doubt I would do the same thing now because the girls are older and more aware of their surroundings.
Traffic is also something to consider. Leaving at 5am meant I would avoid rush hour in my hometown. My girls hate traffic almost as much as I do and usually scream when stuck in it.

6. By any means necessary. With this I mean, try any trick necessary to get through the trip. While I didnt use a portable DVD player, that doesnt me I would be opposed to one. If 15 minutes of elmo will calm down your child and help you concentrate on driving, then go for it.

7. Dont jeopardize safety- If your child is crying/screaming and distracting you while driving, PULL OVER! Safety is the most important thing. This ties back to #1. If you take your time, you will have the time and flexibity to stop when you need to.

I hope this helps.

How many angels does God need...

I am sitting here writing with a very very heavy heart. A fellow MoM(mother of Multiples) lost one of her children today. Brooke had her triplets at 25 weeks and for the past 50+ days. the babies have been overcoming hurdle after hurdle until one thing stopped everyone in their tracks. Sweet little Annaleigh, who was just taken off the nasal cannula and was breathing room air, stopped gaining weight. her belly was swollen and was vomiting repeatly. A surgery consult showed that the culprit was NEC.
NEC stands for Necrotizing Enterolitis and it is primarily seen in micropreemies. Bacteria destroys the bowels from the inside out. It is devestating. Surgery revealed that Annaleigh's bowels were all destroyed and the only chance for recovery was a bowel transplant, which was slim to none.
In the span of a few days, Brooke and her husband prepared to say goodbye to Annaleigh. I cant even pretend to understand how they felt when they received that news.
At 4:30 today, Annaleigh stopped fighting. They were able to get a family picture with all three babies. My heart is broken for this family. I cant stop crying and staring at my own two miracles.

Being active in the online multiples community means I have seen my fair share of sad stories and I just want to know how many more angels does God need? I think he has enough and I am asking him now to just leave the babies alone. Babies belong on earth where they can be cuddled and loved by their families. Can we make a deal God?
Life is just so unfair. It is just so hard to wrap my head around and while I think I am a religious oerson, I cant explain this away using faith. I just cant. Some might say"well this is just one of life's mysteries, we dont know why God does this", at this point I am not buying that.
I know this is rambling, but like I told my husband, I am sick of God taking the babies away...